I’m Anne and George’s sister,
And I’m Thomas Boleyn’s daughter.
I consider myself lucky
To have survived the family slaughter.

I’m Henry’s sexual reject,
And I have two kids, no less.
But who’s the children’s father
Is anybody’s guess.

My husband died of sickness,
And was eventually replaced
By a man who got me pregnant,
Ensuring maximum disgrace.

I was banished from society
To a rural county idyll.
The remaining story of my life
Is something of a riddle.

But I’ve now been reinvented
To be viewed as captivating.
And although I’ve never done a thing
I’m seen as fascinating.

Upon your average postage stamp
My achievements could be written,
But since a certain fiction book
I could be brain of Britain.

So I’ll wallow in bewildering fame;
I don’t mean to be big headed,
But one thing I can say for sure,
Better that than being beheaded!


About The Author

Eddie Boverington

Edward “Eddie” Boverington is a freelance moustachioculturalist and professional cobbler, a student of history, and in his spare time composes medieval inspired poems and lute ballads in the 16th century style. He grew up in Clapham in the 1950s, where he still lives above his family’s shoe repair shop. Some of his moustache designs have won awards in prestigious international competitions, such as Le Concourse de Bacchantes et Moustaches de Francais. He can also polish, recondition and resole even the finest boots overnite for only £25.

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2 Responses

  1. Underdogge

    EB seems to have a gift for coming up with a witty – and rhyming – take on history. I think I prefer this version to the “certain history book”.


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