Beheading: not talking roses here!
Castration: detachment of a useful appendage
Diplomacy: war postponement
Execution: dying in public
Foreigners: the enemy
Government: jobs for the boys
Hunting: killing anything that moves
Indictment: a fantasy story
Jousting: a horse ride with poles
Kent: where rich people live
Lancaster: where poor people live
Mary Rose: ship disguised as lump of wet wood
Nosegay: stops you smelling like a skunk
Odour: failure to use a nosegay
Privy: an unhygienic hole
Quill: bird assisted writing
Rack: stretchy implement
Spanish: spoilsports
Tennis: a game with walls
Unilateral: King right, you wrong
Venereal Disease: a common ailment
War: failure in diplomacy
Xenophobic: everyone outside England
Yeoman: servant in strange hat
Zips: something to look forward to
Edward “Eddie” Boverington is a freelance moustachioculturalist and professional cobbler, a student of history, and in his spare time composes medieval inspired poems and lute ballads in the 16th century style. He grew up in Clapham in the 1950s, where he still lives above his family’s shoe repair shop. Some of his moustache designs have won awards in prestigious international competitions, such as Le Concourse de Bacchantes et Moustaches de Francais. He can also polish, recondition and resole even the finest boots overnite for only £25.
