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Richard III Takes on Donald Trump

The New Yorker’s Alex Siquig has written the hilarious Ask King Richard III: A Political Advice Column, where American Presidential candidates seek Richard’s advice. Our favourite:

Have you ever seen someone dominate an election like this? I would have curb-stomped Reagan. I am more popular than Mussolini ever was. I am significantly taller than Jesus. I’ve made a huge amount of money, and I’m not going to apologize to anyone for that. China is scared of me. My question is: How are you?

Sincerely,
Talking Loudly Inside Trump Towers

Dear Donald,

Thank you for writing. I am fine, though afflicted by a certain melancholy for, as I understand it, most of you think I am the ruthless caricature created by that cretinous ass William Shakespeare. Do you people really think I was in my mother’s womb for two years and born with fangs? That not only did I kill my own brother’s sweet sons but I also found time to kill Henry VI, his son Edward, and my own beloved brother George? That I murdered my wife so that I could marry my niece? Calumny. Oh, and Donald? You are like poison that screams its victim to death. You belong in a dungeon.

Read the rest of the very funny answers here.

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