Me Family

Grant-Wood-American-Gothic

Me mother was a bricklayer;
She didn’t take no trouble.
If someone wouldn’t pay her,
She’d hit ’em with a shovel.

Me father bought a shotgun,
Which he used when he retired.
A bit of shot came out the end;
The rest of it backfired.

Me brother owned a pussy cat;
It was a vicious moggy.
It fell into the fishpond,
And now his moggy’s soggy.

Me sister was a short fat girl;
She looked just like a ball,
Till I put her in the cider press,
Now she’s thin and six foot tall.

Me granny owned a hamster;
She used to comb and groom her,
Until it’s cage turned upside down,
And we sucked it up the hoover.

Me granddad bought a set of teeth;
They were so white and new.
Until he knocked them off the shelf,
And flushed them down the loo.

They swirled around the toilet bowl
As he watched them in a trance,
And then they disappeared from sight,
And ended up in France.

Me family are a funny lot;
We give each other strife.
But while me friends can come and go,
Me family’s for life!

 

About The Author

Eddie Boverington

Edward “Eddie” Boverington is a freelance moustachioculturalist and professional cobbler, a student of history, and in his spare time composes medieval inspired poems and lute ballads in the 16th century style. He grew up in Clapham in the 1950s, where he still lives above his family’s shoe repair shop. Some of his moustache designs have won awards in prestigious international competitions, such as Le Concourse de Bacchantes et Moustaches de Francais. He can also polish, recondition and resole even the finest boots overnite for only £25.

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