I’m such a devout Catholic;
I do what’s right and good.
I married my sweet Catherine,
When Pope Julius said I could.

Kate previously wed my brother,
But to me she did belong,
Until she failed to give me sons,
Which proved the Pope was wrong.

I’m such a devout Catholic,
But I want to marry Anne.
I’ll be Defender of the Faith,
As long as Julius says I can.

But Julius wouldn’t give me,
That divorce for which I hope,
So now I’ve found a legal loophole,
To prove I’m better than the Pope.

I’m such a devout Catholic
That I’ve created my own Church.
I’ll crush those traitorous subjects,
Who don’t think I’m God on earth.

I slaughtered More and Fisher;
Used the Carthusians as bait,
And anyone who crosses me,
Will meet a similar fate.

I always do what’s right and good,
And as the monasteries are corrupt,
I’m forced to sack them forcefully,
And all their wealth deduct.

I’m such a devout Catholic,
But I want Anne from my bed.
So I’ll use false allegations,
As my excuse to get her dead.

I’ll take a few friends with her.
My courtiers I’ll savage.
They used to entertain me.
They’re now collateral damage.

I’m such a devout Catholic,
Do I do what’s right and good?
I do exactly what I want,
Because my advisors said I could.

 

 

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